Listening to the Snowfall
I was hustling as best as I could, as the snow had made driving to the church more than a bit slow. As I chugged my chubby Self along the path to the Parish House, I realized the roads would be treacherous by the time our Youth Group Dinner / Dialogue was over. However, as I expected, there were at least twenty kids waiting for me to open the doors.
I quickly opened the door, and my senior high school crew herded themselves inside, complaining of being cold, and wondering if I had ordered the pizzas – which I had not only done, but picked up along the way. I told a couple of hearty girls to retrieve the pizzas and sodas from my trunk, and took my seat in the throne chair reserved for my portly presence.
We gathered in a large oval, and pushed three coffee tables together, and set out the traditional pizza buffet, along with several large containers of a wide range of sodas and waters. Three of the girls had brought salads with them in their purses, and together shared one slice. It is always hard not to wonder if they are eating right, or failing to eat for all the wrong reasons.
In fifteen minutes, everything, and I do mean everything, was gone. We passed out paper toweling, cleaned off the crumb filled coffee tables, and I began to share the discussion starting presentation. It went something like this:
“Welcome, and glad to see you all here. I know you came to hear me talk, not just inhale the pizza and swig the soda. Well, an hour before I came here, I was sitting at my condo window, and enjoying watching the first inch or two of snow swirl down. It was so quiet and still inside and out, so I lit a few candles and decided I would listen to the snowfall.
I know. You’re thinking, we really cannot hear a snowflake falling or collecting on the white blanket below. In so many ways you are 100% correct. However, when everything calms and centers, including our attention, our capacity to take notice, we can be literally dumbstruck by the beauty of the snow. Dumbstruck does not mean stupid, it is simply the state of being amazed.
If we are amazed, awed, and have had our breath taken away for a moment, we will begin to hear our souls speak. The soul is usually a silent partner, and refuses to yell to get attention, or to be very verbose, and go on and on about what we can already see with our own eyes. However, the soul will speak in sighs, whispered words, and a small voice inside which tells us how magnificent Life is, how beloved we are, and how we should enjoy having a chance at another day. Most of the sounds are like a small squall of praise gathering on the horizon -- like thunder before a storm.
When the soul speaks, we really need to listen. We need to pay strict attention, and focus, not only on the feeling, but the thoughts which accompany the experience. The soul speaks a strange language, as it is full of metaphors, poetry, and offers up sounds which express the magnificence of it all.
Tonight, as I listened to the snow, I thought about just how much I love each and every one of you. I know, I do not know many of you well, but still, it was a genuine sense of anticipation I felt, an excitement at the chance to meet and talk with all of you.
It was also a relief. I get really tired or hearing complaints and nasty comments and the bad news, which tends to be all the news, and I was pleased to think we would try to talk about stuff which matters, things that truly count, and the very topics which focus us in on having a genuinely good life.
So, here is tonight’s question…
“HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO THE SNOW? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD YOUR SOUL TALK? HAVE YOU EVER CHOSEN TO LISTEN TO THAT SMALL VOICE INSIDE YOU, WHICH SOME CALL A CONSCIENCE? WHAT DID THE SNOW, THE SOUL, THE SMALL VOICE, HAVE TO SAY?”
Per usual, the silence was thick and huge. Everyone was looking down, as if ashamed not to have a quick and easy answer. I have grown wise to the wisdom of waiting, and so I did – I just waited. The waiting started to get squirmy. Kids started to look around the room, hoping someone would break the awkward hush.
Finally, dependable Kyle spoke, “I am not sure what you are asking Pastor Bill.”
“Well, what do you think I am asking?” I responded in patient pride.
Kyle tried this on for size. “I think you mean there are times when we just wonder what it is all about. I mean Life. Do I matter at all? Why…lots of whys?
Like the competing teams on FAMILY FEUD, everyone started to say, “Good answer!”
It was a good answer. It was a good start. I told him so. Then I reframed the question. “So, if I am listening to the snow, and it asks me the question, what is the meaning of my life, what do you answer.”
Another bout of brutal quiet. Samantha spoke. She was a bright spirited girl who was riddled with worry about the alcoholism rampant in her family.
“Sometimes I see something I think is so beautiful, so amazing, it makes me think there must be a God. This just could not be a coincidence. But I don’t think that when I see another dumb snow, Pastor Bill.”
“I know, I am a snow fan, if not a fanatic. I never tire of watching it fall, or drift, or coat the earth bright white.”
Tim spoke. “Is that why you paint it all the time?”
I was pleased anyone had noticed or made the connection. “Yes Tim, I am sure that is the catalyst.”
The discussion began to pick up speed, and the youth were quickly becoming aware how listening to the soul, had something to do with listening to their heart, to what they deeply cared about, and what many folks called Life’s great mysteries.
“Why snow?” I asked. “Why create snowfall?”
A few of our science buff youth spoke up, and reminded us that snowfall was simply a matter of rain falling when it is colder than 32 degrees.
“So, it is just a matter of temperature?” I quizzed.
Back to Kyle. “I think there is a scientific reason for snow, and then there is just the fact that God likes beauty.”
Kyle got several looks from other guys, which told him they thought he was kissing up to the adult. Which he was. Which he knew. Still, this was also what he thought.
“So…do things just happen for no reason, or is there method in the madness of Creation – to borrow from Shakespeare.”
Many of the youth made it clear they were not sure if they believed in God, which I already knew. A few, from fairly conservative religious homes, declared their strong belief in God as the Creator. I decided to ask if they were more at ease with the notion of a Spirit, a Higher Power, or ‘Let the Force be with you?”
The bottom line. Everyone did believe this was not merely an accident, or a coincidence, or an event of know meaning whatsoever. But…this is where we hit our culture’s stumbling block, which is the need to have everyone believe the same thing. Clearly, this was not possible with this group or probably any other randomly chosen group.
I next shifted them into playing poet for a moment. I asked them, if they were God, or the Spirit, or whatever, why would snow have been created?
When you take the shackles of popularity and competing and shame off of adolescents, it can blow you away what they will come up with. Admittedly, it does depend on their mood, because they can throw a silence tantrum worthy of an Oscar. There are those nights, however, like this one, when they can be truly original and wise.
The primary theme of our discussion was how snow got rid of the grime. They spoke of snow as being pure and pristine. They thought snow often erased the ugliness. They saw snow as what made a Christmas holy. They believed snow captured the beauty of winter, and provided the startling impact of everything being etched in black.
They also talked about walking in the snow, sledding in it, building forts, skiing, and the raw joy of having a blizzard day when school was cancelled. They admitted how when the whole world outside went wildly white, the inside automatically became quite cozy. They all talked about loving candle and firelight, and why winter nights could be called holy nights. However, when I asked what they meant by holy, they made it clear they had no idea, except they disliked the notion of acting “holier than thou” or being a “holy roller”.
So…now let me review with you what I presently feel are vital spiritual lessons and practices for teens and young adults. They are required exercises for a strong soul, a deeply committed heart, and a life which is led by a kind and cooperative spirit.
*****
Silence vs. Noise
Have you ever admitted the amount of noise we listen to on a daily basis? Have you ever thought about what is meant when we say we can’t even hear ourselves think? Do our youth recognize the impact on themselves, from being in incessant connection with one another and their world?
Ours is a noisy world. Even in its remotest corners, the dissonance can be heard. Our culture is boisterous, raucous, and one where many conversations are no more than shouting matches. There is the hubbub and hurly-burly of our cities, and even rural areas know the passing drone of the interstate, the endless babel of a public gathering. The din is everywhere. The disruptive and disturbing efforts being made to be heard, build in crescendo and echo in a veritable blast of sound.
If we are to know the gift of quiet, we will need to work at it. Silence is a mature choice, and one too few adults and adolescents make on a regular basis. Just as we now have 24 hours a day news, we also live in a culture which is always on the go, restless, and scurrying after success -- this makes noise. This racket quickly becomes grating. It is almost annoying to try and find time to listen to our soul, when it is so difficult to even find a quiet spot.
I think today’s teenagers have been badly damaged by a glut of noise. Music blasting or being piped in through headphones; the consistent contact of friends; the crazy concept of something going viral; the high-volume low-quality reality shows; and the celebrities with something to say on everything, but with expertise in nothing. How do we create a sacred space for silence? How does something so vital to a spiritual life, become so difficult to practice? How has this impacted people’s prayer lives, meditation for centering and relaxation, and taking the time to be creative, imaginative, curious, wonder and reflect.
Over the last several years, I have noticed the profound presence of adolescent anxiety when asked or expected to be quiet. I feel that even a period of an hour of silence, is way too much for the average teen. The sanctity of a teenager’s room is still the norm, but the room must be soaked in sound at all times. I think many youths are terrified of hearing their own souls speak, as the message just might be, “Shut-up and listen!”
Unfortunately, a good many of our so-called leaders, both political and religious, are true blowhard’s, who love the sound of their own voices, and believe nobody else has anything worth saying, or needing to be heard. The sound of pompous big mouths is now a cultural norm in America, and it is hard to find a time or space freed from the obnoxious arrogance and ignorance of their views.
The sounds of silence are simple, sacred and serene. They offer us insight, empathy, and wisdom. They can restore our hope, renew our love, and encourage us to take the time to dream. We must teach their great value and worth and importance in our lives, and to our culture.
*****
Stillness vs. Blur
I get it. I think we all do. Speed is tantalizing. Getting something the very instant we want it is awfully appealing – in most cases.
We are a culture which loves to brag. It is a sign of our society’s gross immaturity. We just love to tell people about the twenty balls of activity we are juggling at the moment. Somehow, we think of being busy as the truest sign of our success. We boast of being dead tired, as the direct result of trying to do it all, all of the time.
I too have often been a real workaholic. If my calendar had any holes in it, I filled them with three more things to do. I wanted to be busy from morning to night. I fought the clock like an enemy. I truly believed I was never enough, however, I chose to try and win the “rat race” every single day. It was only when I realized that even if I won the race, I was still a rat, that I came to my senses, and tried to restore balance to my life.
Adolescents are busy by nature. They have lots of wild energy. They can be on the go for a long time, even staying up all night on a pretty regular basis. Most adults know being up all night will make them pay for a week or more, at least. Teens have a tremendous supply of energy, and they are fueled by the need to master their world, and showcase their presence.
When I worked with suicidal teens in Milwaukee, I became aware how often it was a coach who sensed something was off in an adolescent. It is hard to fake playing. If a youth was suddenly still and sluggish, it stood out like a sore thumb. During adolescence, stillness can be a sign of unhappiness, or guilt, shame, depression, especially if the stillness is a spiritual slump, a lack of interest, a being bored to death.
Healthy stillness is a soul at attention. Unhealthy stillness is a soul which refuses to show up.
Adolescents, like adults in our culture, need to be taught the vital importance of choosing to be still. STOP! QUIT! These are not bad four-letter words, but can be the expression of a soul maturing, and knowing one’s limits and boundaries. If a person cannot say “NO”, they soon learn their “YES” is not worth much. Like most everything in a healthy life, it is all about balance.
Most things in Life which are satisfying, significant, substantial, spiritual, require a good deal of going slow, and being still. I believe anything which is precious, of high value, does indeed require great patience and perseverance. It not only will take time, but usually requires a good many failures and flops along the way.
Love takes time, practice, work, and yes, considerable time spent being still. Stillness is the spiritual equivalent of coming to our senses. We need to be still to really see, listen, touch, taste, and even smell. Coming to our senses is to be focused, aware, paying attention, and noticing, and love is the art of such focused attention.
Hope takes stillness, because it requires a well nurtured and devoted center. At the core, hope is again a focused compassion and courage. Hope is a stillness which yields raw empathy. Hope is indeed walking in someone else’s shoes. Hope is the repetitive and ritualized work of caring. It is the feeding of the hungry, the clothing of the naked, and the lifting up of those in pain or sorrow. Hope is the daily duty of loving our neighbor as our Self. Hope is the active expression of concern, of caring enough to actually do something.
Spirituality is stillness. It is allowing the soul to receive, fill, and be fueled. Spirituality is being calm and committed and convictional. It is the art of living Life with a wide-open heart, eyes, and hands. It is a stillness which moves us. It is a stillness which frees us to move in the direction of our longings and yearnings and callings. The motion of stillness is expansion. The heart and mind and spirit all expand, grow, mature.
Think of standing still, and being fully aware of all the activity taking place within your blessed body. The coursing of the blood, the networking of the nerves, the flow of the air into and out of our lungs, the myriad messages being sent and delivered at every moment of every day. It is an amazing array of movement – all going on when we are being perfectly still.
Stillness is the discipline which allows us to be aware of a soul in motion. Stillness is the opener to the inner world, and the vast expanse of the universe. Stillness is actually aware of what is required and involved in maturing.
Being still is a crucial spiritual discipline for an adolescent. It is a tremendous help in taking the reins on stress, anxiety, worry, and fear. Stillness is restraint, and the power to do nothing so our souls can learn, become wise, and make healthy choices. Stillness is like the silences in music, it is what creates the rhythm and flow of the music itself.
What we see in adolescents who cannot be still is agitation, fragmentation, temper tantrums, violent mood swings, and an inability to accomplish much which could be called genuinely creative. Life, void of stillness, is lived in fits and starts, gasps and bursts, and seldom allows the youth the chance to weave their creative effort into a unified whole. What is missing is the down time needed to stitch things together, to knit together the fabric of one’s own vision and voice.
It is in stillness that we create our own signature style. Without the stillness, what we tend to get is copies and rip-offs. Without stillness, we are doomed to another season of revivals.
*****
Solitude vs. Crowd
It is quite difficult for an adolescent or young adult to choose solitude. In our culture, choosing solitude is suspicious. When we are alone by choice, our culture tends to label us geeks, nerds, and losers. We can quickly be thought of as an outcast. It is also assumed we are lonely, and lacking in social skills. Parents of teens who spend a good deal of time alone, frequently panic their child is on the verge of a psychotic break, or being the next mass murderer.
It isn’t bad to be attentive to one another’s emotional states, but it isn’t fair to assume that spending time alone is a sign of mental illness. If, on the other hand, the time being spent alone seems painful for the adolescent, or too frequent, and there is once again not a healthy balance, then voice the concern. To be honest, I normally find adolescents who enjoy their own company to be quite mature, creative, and at ease in their own skin.
Have you ever gone to a high school recently, and just spent an hour or two? Adults need to remember the chaos of this time of Life, the incessant games being played, expectations through the roof, and the desperate need to please people and perform. I guarantee you that if you go as an adult, and take the time to simply watch, you will quickly become aware of being old, being tired, and having forgotten the frenzy of the adolescent world. The best years of our lives. Not a chance. Holding my grandson for the first time was my best so far, and adolescence cannot hold a candle to such and experience. The best is saved for last.
Think about being on stage for an entire play. It is exhausting. Knowing your lines. Knowing the lines of others. Displaying just the right emotion at just the right time. Knowing your cues, and where you need to be on stage, and sensing if the audience is connecting. Performing is draining. Adolescence is by and large one long performance – even on a good day.
Solitude can be so healing, restoring, imaginative, creative, and maturing. Time to savor a poem, a song, a great novel, or reflect, fantasize, wonder, and envision what we might hope to do or be next. Solitude is when and where we try on different styles and perspectives, and talk to ourselves honestly about how to make a good decision.
For an adolescent, their room is where they can organize their world, while simultaneously declaring it a disaster zone – still knowing where everything is. They get to be away from all the distractions, and the disturbances, and the dissonance. They get to dance around the room, and feel sexy and wild and adventurous. They get to dream. They get to remember. They might even entertain their Higher Power for an hour.
I will admit, the key to solitude is to be surrounded by the Grace of unconditional love. Being alone in a setting which already feels alien, can truly be too much to handle. Being alone when surrounded by our critics, is more like being in hiding. Being alone, if one is always alone, is to be a hermit, a recluse, a monk, and this is a choice no adolescent needs to make – those are decisions for adults aware of the consequences, the benefits and the price to be paid of such a decision.
Our culture encourages our youth to never be silent or still. Ironically, when many of these adolescents become addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, or rebel incessantly and dangerously, we often send them to wilderness programs, where they can find their souls again. Strange, our culture has not yet recognized we might want to do this before they go off the rails.
The wilderness is a good place to experience silence and solitude. It is, as of now, still available. Nature has so very much to teach us, especially about our own insignificance, as well as our capacity to be brilliant. The earth is an amazing teacher of balance. Being in solitude within the context of wilderness, is guaranteed to provide a youth with an adjustment of attitude, a wider perspective, and a deeper understanding of our place in the world.
As we confront the spectacular mystery of the wilderness; a night sky splattered with stars; sounds which both haunt and excite; the raw beauty of a small space being lit by a single shaft of light; a creature who can scamper and then disappear in a moment; we become whole. A good deal of maturity is in knowing how on some levels, we are all very much alone. There is great fear in this knowledge, and great power. It is the beginning of maturity as an individual, and hope as a culture.
*****
Serenity vs. Frenzy
Define serenity. Does this come quickly for you, easily, or are you still thinking? For most adults, the words seem to be accessible, and they describe serenity as being calm, rested, relaxed, and at ease. Adolescents often just stare at me, and sigh, and try to locate a word, a word which remains elusive for quite some time.
Serenity can happen when we cease trying to be in control, or in charge, or perfect. Serenity is what can occur if we surrender, and go with the flow. Serenity is acceptance. Serenity is Grace. Serenity is the willingness to celebrate being human. Serenity is going on the walk of maturation. Serenity is unforced movement. It is a climb, but not a breathless one. It faces obstacles, but is confident in finding its way. It is the steady movement to Higher Ground.
Name a serene person in your life. This is quite telling. Most adults can name one or two. Most adolescents struggle with even one, or may only name their one best friend with whom they feel serene, but have no idea if this friend is serene within themselves.
Think about the qualities of a serene individual. They are not comatose. They are not detached. They are not off in some other universe. They are pleasantly and powerfully present. They are quite focused. They listen well. They talk, but not too much or too little, and at a volume which is easy to hear. They are in touch with feelings, thoughts, beliefs, but are flexible, open to questions, doubts, and changing one’s mind. They simply are mature.
The opposite of serenity is frenzy. In our culture, unfortunately, many people see frenzy as a sign of success. I see it as the assurance a person is a royal pain in the butt to work with or for. Frenzy is a camera shaking. It is a sermon which explodes after just a few good cohesive moments. It is a mind which functions as though trapped in a pinball machine, trying to score popularity points before it rolls into the pit. It is a callused heart. It is a soul so far in the background, all you can make out is a wavering apparition.
Name a serene adolescent you know. Difficult? Yes, almost impossible. However, this is a warning to our culture, for not training teens to be at ease, calm, focused, or knowing how to take the time to get it together. It is like listening to a speech which is being made up as they go along, without preparation or purpose, or point, and at the end, one asks, “What was that about?”
We need to offer adolescents the capacity to have their own vision and voice in their world. They need to have begun to develop their own signature style. They need to be in touch with their thoughts, feelings, convictions, and to have started to compile their priorities, as well as discerned their goals. We need awake, aware, alert adolescents. We need youths to become real people, not celebrity knock-offs. We need genuine teens, who are real, questioning, doubting, and seeking.
It is such a huge mistake to ask our adolescents to act like adults. They need time for this process of maturation, and they need a full chance to wander in the territory of becoming an adult. They need to gain a comfort level with being the adult they choose to be, and we must also recognize, they have a pretty small pool of adults to emulate. Finding an adult who is mature, has integrity, even dignity, is no small task for today’s teen. We cannot rush this transformative time. We must not encourage behaving like pretend adults – we have enough of those already.
Remember, a serene adolescent, like a serene adult, is someone who is thoughtful, emotionally aware, honest, and able to express their beliefs and values, as well as articulate the basic outline of their dreams. A serene adolescent is real, not fake. Serenity can never be faked. It truly can’t. It would be like trying to chew your own teeth.
*****
Substantial vs. Superficial
Our adolescents are being raised within a culture which is heavily prone to the superficial. The fake, phony, and artificial dominates both the marketplace and those who try to make the big sale. Reality TV reveals an extraordinary willingness to tolerate that which is immature and of no apparent value. I am super conscious these days of the emptiness of so much of our communication, the lies, the deceit, the scams, and now, the complete idiocy of conspiracy theories a plenty.
Our culture lacks depth. We are a people who far too often only scratch the surface. We don’t face our issues with much depth of thought. We don’t create friendships with deep strong roots. Our love is often shallow, our convictions flimsy, and our belief tentative. We live on the fly, make it up as we go along, bend and twist the Truth to our benefit, and show our world, and those hurting within it, a lack of interest, an apathy, pure neglect, indifference.
This lack of substance has two primary causes.
First is GREED. The zealous pursuit and obsession with money, is depleting people of their integrity and dignity, creating a viciously competitive world, and destroying our planet.
Next is our fixation on Self, which spawns from the same source as greed. ME…ME…ME! When we live exclusively focused on ourselves, we shrink. We become less in matters of value, worth, and legacy. Not only do our ethics fade away, our morals warp, but we reduce our impact to a pocketbook or bank account.
Substance has nothing to do with greed, and even less to do with being fixated on Self. The substantive person is a soul who cares, is concerned, chooses to be aware and awake, and is fully committed to the betterment of the whole world. Substance is to be full of kindness and mercy, not selfishness and denial. Ask yourself who is the most substantive person you know? I will bet anything the individual you name is neither a celebrity, superrich, or someone only known for being known.
We will name ordinary folks who are outrageously good friends, neighbors, tirelessly serving those in need, or lifting up those who are downtrodden, and yes, offering someone a shot in the arm. This may sound like a string of superlatives, and it is, but it is also the language used to describe those who serve and sacrifice daily.
If our adolescents remain preoccupied with the numbers game, where do I rank, how much do I have, when will I be able to buy this or that, they will be stuck in a spiritual quicksand. The only way they can ultimately move, is down. Even at the top, they will know their hearts and souls are rotting on the ground. Today’s adolescent desperately needs to learn the power of being humane – sympathetic. Our culture becomes colder and more callused every day. It is time for all of us to say, “STOP THIS CRAZINESS!”
If someone were to say to you, “You are a person of great substance.”, you can be certain they are not referring to your wealth. They would be commenting upon your insight, sensitivity, empathy, having a huge heart, and a soul whose mercy is as wide as the sky. Our youth must be taught to strive to be worthy of a such a compliment.
I have recently grown to enjoy watching YouTube, as it is so easy to find videos which are uplifting, inspirational, and have ordinary people doing an being extraordinary. Yes, there are also thousands of videos about entertainers and the superrich, and the inane crap they are frequently doing with their lives, but at least I have a choice. I like being able to decide in favor of some good news, and not more drivel and bad news.
What I like best about the work of inspiration, is witnessing people choose to be a person of substance. This means service. This means sacrifice. This may mean some suffering. This means taking the road less traveled. This means risking public approval or popularity. This means following their heart.
*****
Significant vs. Success
There is nothing wrong with being successful, but there in nothing inherently right about it either. I have worked with some truly wealthy folks, including their children, and I can say categorically, success guarantees only one thing – you will be considered a “winner” in this culture. However, I can also state with assurance, many will have sold their soul, squandered their fortune, and wasted their talent and calling in the process.
Being able to afford the good life in America means nothing, if it is coupled with a complete lack of goodness, a refusal to be kind, compassionate, benevolent, or unwilling to sacrifice on behalf of others. The American good life is presently built on a capitalism which has become extreme, ruthless, viciously competitive, and even predatory. Our economy simply does not value the public as a whole, and our society thereby tends to undervalue the attributes of decency, dignity, meaning, and care.
The financial success worshipped in America does not make much of difference in the scheme of things. It is like living as an Egyptian Pharoah, and building a pyramid to be filled by the fabulous signs of your wealth. This hoarding of wealth, it was believed, was capable of keeping Death at bay. If we are brutally honest with ourselves, many of our homes have become “pyramids” – how can God take me when I have so much stuff?
We truly cannot take it with us, and our bank accounts have little to say about what difference we have made. I would contend, those who have made a fortune, seldom appear to be all that much healthier, happier, or more hopeful; quite the opposite, the view from the top isn’t all it is cracked up to be, if we have created a thick gritty smog on the way up.
I still very much believe in America and its people. I also believe we are in serious moral decline. I feel passionately about our need to address our own spiritual impoverishment.
I mean really, how can we be okay with millions of our people being without health care, or the staggering number of homeless and hungry, or the blatant racism of our justice system, or loading down our students with loan debt, or warehousing our elderly in places void of a quality care, primarily the result of not paying a livable wage to the caregivers?
How can we stomach seeing children ripped away from their migrant parents, then abandoned in semi-zoos, while we explain it away by saying, “Well, their parents broke the law.”? How can we watch the slaughter of our own innocent children, and still not be able to pass a ban on assault weapons – at the very least? Why are we witness to the rampant deterioration of all things pubic: our schools, transportation, health care, national parks, highway system, etc.?
I don’t mean to rant, and I do not see the above as strictly a political issue. This is about being humane, which means to be a people of deep and abiding sympathy. If we are to be a people of significance, we must develop the capacity to be global citizens, creative communities, good neighbors, and above all else, people who value kindness, decency, and tender mercies.
Life is tough enough, without raising youth with hardened cynical hearts. The last thing we need is to teach our young to know the price tag of everything, and the value of nothing.
We will all be known solely and always for the depth and quality and extravagance of our loving, especially in loving the tough to love, and even in loving our enemies. This is an age-old message, but one which our American culture is choosing to forget.
Well, we have come full circle. The snow falls. The soul catches. The spirit ignites. The creativity sparks. The change comes. The growth happens. We mature. All because we were smart enough to stop and listen to the snowfall. This is a practice vital to our teens today, or otherwise they are threatened to become robotic, childish, demanding consumers, and fail to make a substantial or significant contribution to our world and Life itself.
To live a life without paying attention to its beauty, marvels, and miracles, is not just a sadder life, a life of less meaning and worth, but a collection of days spent missing out on the ever- present possibility for love and joy. It can become, in the extreme, like being dead before we are dead. In a culture which addictively pursues deadening our anxiety and worry and fear, as well as our suffering and pain, we run the risk of missing out on most of what makes Life so wondrous and hope filled.
Listening to the snowfall is no small matter. It probably is not a life-or-death choice, but it certainly pertains to being fully awake, aware, and alive to the risks and dreams and hopes available to us all.
There are no guarantees or warranties in Life, but one thing is for sure - We must pay attention to the messages Life keeps sending us, and notice when it is calling us to open up, or settle down, or be present, or be transformed, or even born again, becoming a whole new being. We must listen up…lighten up…look up…and wake up, so we do not miss the day.
I was hustling as best as I could, as the snow had made driving to the church more than a bit slow. As I chugged my chubby Self along the path to the Parish House, I realized the roads would be treacherous by the time our Youth Group Dinner / Dialogue was over. However, as I expected, there were at least twenty kids waiting for me to open the doors.
I quickly opened the door, and my senior high school crew herded themselves inside, complaining of being cold, and wondering if I had ordered the pizzas – which I had not only done, but picked up along the way. I told a couple of hearty girls to retrieve the pizzas and sodas from my trunk, and took my seat in the throne chair reserved for my portly presence.
We gathered in a large oval, and pushed three coffee tables together, and set out the traditional pizza buffet, along with several large containers of a wide range of sodas and waters. Three of the girls had brought salads with them in their purses, and together shared one slice. It is always hard not to wonder if they are eating right, or failing to eat for all the wrong reasons.
In fifteen minutes, everything, and I do mean everything, was gone. We passed out paper toweling, cleaned off the crumb filled coffee tables, and I began to share the discussion starting presentation. It went something like this:
“Welcome, and glad to see you all here. I know you came to hear me talk, not just inhale the pizza and swig the soda. Well, an hour before I came here, I was sitting at my condo window, and enjoying watching the first inch or two of snow swirl down. It was so quiet and still inside and out, so I lit a few candles and decided I would listen to the snowfall.
I know. You’re thinking, we really cannot hear a snowflake falling or collecting on the white blanket below. In so many ways you are 100% correct. However, when everything calms and centers, including our attention, our capacity to take notice, we can be literally dumbstruck by the beauty of the snow. Dumbstruck does not mean stupid, it is simply the state of being amazed.
If we are amazed, awed, and have had our breath taken away for a moment, we will begin to hear our souls speak. The soul is usually a silent partner, and refuses to yell to get attention, or to be very verbose, and go on and on about what we can already see with our own eyes. However, the soul will speak in sighs, whispered words, and a small voice inside which tells us how magnificent Life is, how beloved we are, and how we should enjoy having a chance at another day. Most of the sounds are like a small squall of praise gathering on the horizon -- like thunder before a storm.
When the soul speaks, we really need to listen. We need to pay strict attention, and focus, not only on the feeling, but the thoughts which accompany the experience. The soul speaks a strange language, as it is full of metaphors, poetry, and offers up sounds which express the magnificence of it all.
Tonight, as I listened to the snow, I thought about just how much I love each and every one of you. I know, I do not know many of you well, but still, it was a genuine sense of anticipation I felt, an excitement at the chance to meet and talk with all of you.
It was also a relief. I get really tired or hearing complaints and nasty comments and the bad news, which tends to be all the news, and I was pleased to think we would try to talk about stuff which matters, things that truly count, and the very topics which focus us in on having a genuinely good life.
So, here is tonight’s question…
“HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO THE SNOW? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD YOUR SOUL TALK? HAVE YOU EVER CHOSEN TO LISTEN TO THAT SMALL VOICE INSIDE YOU, WHICH SOME CALL A CONSCIENCE? WHAT DID THE SNOW, THE SOUL, THE SMALL VOICE, HAVE TO SAY?”
Per usual, the silence was thick and huge. Everyone was looking down, as if ashamed not to have a quick and easy answer. I have grown wise to the wisdom of waiting, and so I did – I just waited. The waiting started to get squirmy. Kids started to look around the room, hoping someone would break the awkward hush.
Finally, dependable Kyle spoke, “I am not sure what you are asking Pastor Bill.”
“Well, what do you think I am asking?” I responded in patient pride.
Kyle tried this on for size. “I think you mean there are times when we just wonder what it is all about. I mean Life. Do I matter at all? Why…lots of whys?
Like the competing teams on FAMILY FEUD, everyone started to say, “Good answer!”
It was a good answer. It was a good start. I told him so. Then I reframed the question. “So, if I am listening to the snow, and it asks me the question, what is the meaning of my life, what do you answer.”
Another bout of brutal quiet. Samantha spoke. She was a bright spirited girl who was riddled with worry about the alcoholism rampant in her family.
“Sometimes I see something I think is so beautiful, so amazing, it makes me think there must be a God. This just could not be a coincidence. But I don’t think that when I see another dumb snow, Pastor Bill.”
“I know, I am a snow fan, if not a fanatic. I never tire of watching it fall, or drift, or coat the earth bright white.”
Tim spoke. “Is that why you paint it all the time?”
I was pleased anyone had noticed or made the connection. “Yes Tim, I am sure that is the catalyst.”
The discussion began to pick up speed, and the youth were quickly becoming aware how listening to the soul, had something to do with listening to their heart, to what they deeply cared about, and what many folks called Life’s great mysteries.
“Why snow?” I asked. “Why create snowfall?”
A few of our science buff youth spoke up, and reminded us that snowfall was simply a matter of rain falling when it is colder than 32 degrees.
“So, it is just a matter of temperature?” I quizzed.
Back to Kyle. “I think there is a scientific reason for snow, and then there is just the fact that God likes beauty.”
Kyle got several looks from other guys, which told him they thought he was kissing up to the adult. Which he was. Which he knew. Still, this was also what he thought.
“So…do things just happen for no reason, or is there method in the madness of Creation – to borrow from Shakespeare.”
Many of the youth made it clear they were not sure if they believed in God, which I already knew. A few, from fairly conservative religious homes, declared their strong belief in God as the Creator. I decided to ask if they were more at ease with the notion of a Spirit, a Higher Power, or ‘Let the Force be with you?”
The bottom line. Everyone did believe this was not merely an accident, or a coincidence, or an event of know meaning whatsoever. But…this is where we hit our culture’s stumbling block, which is the need to have everyone believe the same thing. Clearly, this was not possible with this group or probably any other randomly chosen group.
I next shifted them into playing poet for a moment. I asked them, if they were God, or the Spirit, or whatever, why would snow have been created?
When you take the shackles of popularity and competing and shame off of adolescents, it can blow you away what they will come up with. Admittedly, it does depend on their mood, because they can throw a silence tantrum worthy of an Oscar. There are those nights, however, like this one, when they can be truly original and wise.
The primary theme of our discussion was how snow got rid of the grime. They spoke of snow as being pure and pristine. They thought snow often erased the ugliness. They saw snow as what made a Christmas holy. They believed snow captured the beauty of winter, and provided the startling impact of everything being etched in black.
They also talked about walking in the snow, sledding in it, building forts, skiing, and the raw joy of having a blizzard day when school was cancelled. They admitted how when the whole world outside went wildly white, the inside automatically became quite cozy. They all talked about loving candle and firelight, and why winter nights could be called holy nights. However, when I asked what they meant by holy, they made it clear they had no idea, except they disliked the notion of acting “holier than thou” or being a “holy roller”.
So…now let me review with you what I presently feel are vital spiritual lessons and practices for teens and young adults. They are required exercises for a strong soul, a deeply committed heart, and a life which is led by a kind and cooperative spirit.
*****
Silence vs. Noise
Have you ever admitted the amount of noise we listen to on a daily basis? Have you ever thought about what is meant when we say we can’t even hear ourselves think? Do our youth recognize the impact on themselves, from being in incessant connection with one another and their world?
Ours is a noisy world. Even in its remotest corners, the dissonance can be heard. Our culture is boisterous, raucous, and one where many conversations are no more than shouting matches. There is the hubbub and hurly-burly of our cities, and even rural areas know the passing drone of the interstate, the endless babel of a public gathering. The din is everywhere. The disruptive and disturbing efforts being made to be heard, build in crescendo and echo in a veritable blast of sound.
If we are to know the gift of quiet, we will need to work at it. Silence is a mature choice, and one too few adults and adolescents make on a regular basis. Just as we now have 24 hours a day news, we also live in a culture which is always on the go, restless, and scurrying after success -- this makes noise. This racket quickly becomes grating. It is almost annoying to try and find time to listen to our soul, when it is so difficult to even find a quiet spot.
I think today’s teenagers have been badly damaged by a glut of noise. Music blasting or being piped in through headphones; the consistent contact of friends; the crazy concept of something going viral; the high-volume low-quality reality shows; and the celebrities with something to say on everything, but with expertise in nothing. How do we create a sacred space for silence? How does something so vital to a spiritual life, become so difficult to practice? How has this impacted people’s prayer lives, meditation for centering and relaxation, and taking the time to be creative, imaginative, curious, wonder and reflect.
Over the last several years, I have noticed the profound presence of adolescent anxiety when asked or expected to be quiet. I feel that even a period of an hour of silence, is way too much for the average teen. The sanctity of a teenager’s room is still the norm, but the room must be soaked in sound at all times. I think many youths are terrified of hearing their own souls speak, as the message just might be, “Shut-up and listen!”
Unfortunately, a good many of our so-called leaders, both political and religious, are true blowhard’s, who love the sound of their own voices, and believe nobody else has anything worth saying, or needing to be heard. The sound of pompous big mouths is now a cultural norm in America, and it is hard to find a time or space freed from the obnoxious arrogance and ignorance of their views.
The sounds of silence are simple, sacred and serene. They offer us insight, empathy, and wisdom. They can restore our hope, renew our love, and encourage us to take the time to dream. We must teach their great value and worth and importance in our lives, and to our culture.
*****
Stillness vs. Blur
I get it. I think we all do. Speed is tantalizing. Getting something the very instant we want it is awfully appealing – in most cases.
We are a culture which loves to brag. It is a sign of our society’s gross immaturity. We just love to tell people about the twenty balls of activity we are juggling at the moment. Somehow, we think of being busy as the truest sign of our success. We boast of being dead tired, as the direct result of trying to do it all, all of the time.
I too have often been a real workaholic. If my calendar had any holes in it, I filled them with three more things to do. I wanted to be busy from morning to night. I fought the clock like an enemy. I truly believed I was never enough, however, I chose to try and win the “rat race” every single day. It was only when I realized that even if I won the race, I was still a rat, that I came to my senses, and tried to restore balance to my life.
Adolescents are busy by nature. They have lots of wild energy. They can be on the go for a long time, even staying up all night on a pretty regular basis. Most adults know being up all night will make them pay for a week or more, at least. Teens have a tremendous supply of energy, and they are fueled by the need to master their world, and showcase their presence.
When I worked with suicidal teens in Milwaukee, I became aware how often it was a coach who sensed something was off in an adolescent. It is hard to fake playing. If a youth was suddenly still and sluggish, it stood out like a sore thumb. During adolescence, stillness can be a sign of unhappiness, or guilt, shame, depression, especially if the stillness is a spiritual slump, a lack of interest, a being bored to death.
Healthy stillness is a soul at attention. Unhealthy stillness is a soul which refuses to show up.
Adolescents, like adults in our culture, need to be taught the vital importance of choosing to be still. STOP! QUIT! These are not bad four-letter words, but can be the expression of a soul maturing, and knowing one’s limits and boundaries. If a person cannot say “NO”, they soon learn their “YES” is not worth much. Like most everything in a healthy life, it is all about balance.
Most things in Life which are satisfying, significant, substantial, spiritual, require a good deal of going slow, and being still. I believe anything which is precious, of high value, does indeed require great patience and perseverance. It not only will take time, but usually requires a good many failures and flops along the way.
Love takes time, practice, work, and yes, considerable time spent being still. Stillness is the spiritual equivalent of coming to our senses. We need to be still to really see, listen, touch, taste, and even smell. Coming to our senses is to be focused, aware, paying attention, and noticing, and love is the art of such focused attention.
Hope takes stillness, because it requires a well nurtured and devoted center. At the core, hope is again a focused compassion and courage. Hope is a stillness which yields raw empathy. Hope is indeed walking in someone else’s shoes. Hope is the repetitive and ritualized work of caring. It is the feeding of the hungry, the clothing of the naked, and the lifting up of those in pain or sorrow. Hope is the daily duty of loving our neighbor as our Self. Hope is the active expression of concern, of caring enough to actually do something.
Spirituality is stillness. It is allowing the soul to receive, fill, and be fueled. Spirituality is being calm and committed and convictional. It is the art of living Life with a wide-open heart, eyes, and hands. It is a stillness which moves us. It is a stillness which frees us to move in the direction of our longings and yearnings and callings. The motion of stillness is expansion. The heart and mind and spirit all expand, grow, mature.
Think of standing still, and being fully aware of all the activity taking place within your blessed body. The coursing of the blood, the networking of the nerves, the flow of the air into and out of our lungs, the myriad messages being sent and delivered at every moment of every day. It is an amazing array of movement – all going on when we are being perfectly still.
Stillness is the discipline which allows us to be aware of a soul in motion. Stillness is the opener to the inner world, and the vast expanse of the universe. Stillness is actually aware of what is required and involved in maturing.
Being still is a crucial spiritual discipline for an adolescent. It is a tremendous help in taking the reins on stress, anxiety, worry, and fear. Stillness is restraint, and the power to do nothing so our souls can learn, become wise, and make healthy choices. Stillness is like the silences in music, it is what creates the rhythm and flow of the music itself.
What we see in adolescents who cannot be still is agitation, fragmentation, temper tantrums, violent mood swings, and an inability to accomplish much which could be called genuinely creative. Life, void of stillness, is lived in fits and starts, gasps and bursts, and seldom allows the youth the chance to weave their creative effort into a unified whole. What is missing is the down time needed to stitch things together, to knit together the fabric of one’s own vision and voice.
It is in stillness that we create our own signature style. Without the stillness, what we tend to get is copies and rip-offs. Without stillness, we are doomed to another season of revivals.
*****
Solitude vs. Crowd
It is quite difficult for an adolescent or young adult to choose solitude. In our culture, choosing solitude is suspicious. When we are alone by choice, our culture tends to label us geeks, nerds, and losers. We can quickly be thought of as an outcast. It is also assumed we are lonely, and lacking in social skills. Parents of teens who spend a good deal of time alone, frequently panic their child is on the verge of a psychotic break, or being the next mass murderer.
It isn’t bad to be attentive to one another’s emotional states, but it isn’t fair to assume that spending time alone is a sign of mental illness. If, on the other hand, the time being spent alone seems painful for the adolescent, or too frequent, and there is once again not a healthy balance, then voice the concern. To be honest, I normally find adolescents who enjoy their own company to be quite mature, creative, and at ease in their own skin.
Have you ever gone to a high school recently, and just spent an hour or two? Adults need to remember the chaos of this time of Life, the incessant games being played, expectations through the roof, and the desperate need to please people and perform. I guarantee you that if you go as an adult, and take the time to simply watch, you will quickly become aware of being old, being tired, and having forgotten the frenzy of the adolescent world. The best years of our lives. Not a chance. Holding my grandson for the first time was my best so far, and adolescence cannot hold a candle to such and experience. The best is saved for last.
Think about being on stage for an entire play. It is exhausting. Knowing your lines. Knowing the lines of others. Displaying just the right emotion at just the right time. Knowing your cues, and where you need to be on stage, and sensing if the audience is connecting. Performing is draining. Adolescence is by and large one long performance – even on a good day.
Solitude can be so healing, restoring, imaginative, creative, and maturing. Time to savor a poem, a song, a great novel, or reflect, fantasize, wonder, and envision what we might hope to do or be next. Solitude is when and where we try on different styles and perspectives, and talk to ourselves honestly about how to make a good decision.
For an adolescent, their room is where they can organize their world, while simultaneously declaring it a disaster zone – still knowing where everything is. They get to be away from all the distractions, and the disturbances, and the dissonance. They get to dance around the room, and feel sexy and wild and adventurous. They get to dream. They get to remember. They might even entertain their Higher Power for an hour.
I will admit, the key to solitude is to be surrounded by the Grace of unconditional love. Being alone in a setting which already feels alien, can truly be too much to handle. Being alone when surrounded by our critics, is more like being in hiding. Being alone, if one is always alone, is to be a hermit, a recluse, a monk, and this is a choice no adolescent needs to make – those are decisions for adults aware of the consequences, the benefits and the price to be paid of such a decision.
Our culture encourages our youth to never be silent or still. Ironically, when many of these adolescents become addicted to alcohol, drugs, sex, or rebel incessantly and dangerously, we often send them to wilderness programs, where they can find their souls again. Strange, our culture has not yet recognized we might want to do this before they go off the rails.
The wilderness is a good place to experience silence and solitude. It is, as of now, still available. Nature has so very much to teach us, especially about our own insignificance, as well as our capacity to be brilliant. The earth is an amazing teacher of balance. Being in solitude within the context of wilderness, is guaranteed to provide a youth with an adjustment of attitude, a wider perspective, and a deeper understanding of our place in the world.
As we confront the spectacular mystery of the wilderness; a night sky splattered with stars; sounds which both haunt and excite; the raw beauty of a small space being lit by a single shaft of light; a creature who can scamper and then disappear in a moment; we become whole. A good deal of maturity is in knowing how on some levels, we are all very much alone. There is great fear in this knowledge, and great power. It is the beginning of maturity as an individual, and hope as a culture.
*****
Serenity vs. Frenzy
Define serenity. Does this come quickly for you, easily, or are you still thinking? For most adults, the words seem to be accessible, and they describe serenity as being calm, rested, relaxed, and at ease. Adolescents often just stare at me, and sigh, and try to locate a word, a word which remains elusive for quite some time.
Serenity can happen when we cease trying to be in control, or in charge, or perfect. Serenity is what can occur if we surrender, and go with the flow. Serenity is acceptance. Serenity is Grace. Serenity is the willingness to celebrate being human. Serenity is going on the walk of maturation. Serenity is unforced movement. It is a climb, but not a breathless one. It faces obstacles, but is confident in finding its way. It is the steady movement to Higher Ground.
Name a serene person in your life. This is quite telling. Most adults can name one or two. Most adolescents struggle with even one, or may only name their one best friend with whom they feel serene, but have no idea if this friend is serene within themselves.
Think about the qualities of a serene individual. They are not comatose. They are not detached. They are not off in some other universe. They are pleasantly and powerfully present. They are quite focused. They listen well. They talk, but not too much or too little, and at a volume which is easy to hear. They are in touch with feelings, thoughts, beliefs, but are flexible, open to questions, doubts, and changing one’s mind. They simply are mature.
The opposite of serenity is frenzy. In our culture, unfortunately, many people see frenzy as a sign of success. I see it as the assurance a person is a royal pain in the butt to work with or for. Frenzy is a camera shaking. It is a sermon which explodes after just a few good cohesive moments. It is a mind which functions as though trapped in a pinball machine, trying to score popularity points before it rolls into the pit. It is a callused heart. It is a soul so far in the background, all you can make out is a wavering apparition.
Name a serene adolescent you know. Difficult? Yes, almost impossible. However, this is a warning to our culture, for not training teens to be at ease, calm, focused, or knowing how to take the time to get it together. It is like listening to a speech which is being made up as they go along, without preparation or purpose, or point, and at the end, one asks, “What was that about?”
We need to offer adolescents the capacity to have their own vision and voice in their world. They need to have begun to develop their own signature style. They need to be in touch with their thoughts, feelings, convictions, and to have started to compile their priorities, as well as discerned their goals. We need awake, aware, alert adolescents. We need youths to become real people, not celebrity knock-offs. We need genuine teens, who are real, questioning, doubting, and seeking.
It is such a huge mistake to ask our adolescents to act like adults. They need time for this process of maturation, and they need a full chance to wander in the territory of becoming an adult. They need to gain a comfort level with being the adult they choose to be, and we must also recognize, they have a pretty small pool of adults to emulate. Finding an adult who is mature, has integrity, even dignity, is no small task for today’s teen. We cannot rush this transformative time. We must not encourage behaving like pretend adults – we have enough of those already.
Remember, a serene adolescent, like a serene adult, is someone who is thoughtful, emotionally aware, honest, and able to express their beliefs and values, as well as articulate the basic outline of their dreams. A serene adolescent is real, not fake. Serenity can never be faked. It truly can’t. It would be like trying to chew your own teeth.
*****
Substantial vs. Superficial
Our adolescents are being raised within a culture which is heavily prone to the superficial. The fake, phony, and artificial dominates both the marketplace and those who try to make the big sale. Reality TV reveals an extraordinary willingness to tolerate that which is immature and of no apparent value. I am super conscious these days of the emptiness of so much of our communication, the lies, the deceit, the scams, and now, the complete idiocy of conspiracy theories a plenty.
Our culture lacks depth. We are a people who far too often only scratch the surface. We don’t face our issues with much depth of thought. We don’t create friendships with deep strong roots. Our love is often shallow, our convictions flimsy, and our belief tentative. We live on the fly, make it up as we go along, bend and twist the Truth to our benefit, and show our world, and those hurting within it, a lack of interest, an apathy, pure neglect, indifference.
This lack of substance has two primary causes.
First is GREED. The zealous pursuit and obsession with money, is depleting people of their integrity and dignity, creating a viciously competitive world, and destroying our planet.
Next is our fixation on Self, which spawns from the same source as greed. ME…ME…ME! When we live exclusively focused on ourselves, we shrink. We become less in matters of value, worth, and legacy. Not only do our ethics fade away, our morals warp, but we reduce our impact to a pocketbook or bank account.
Substance has nothing to do with greed, and even less to do with being fixated on Self. The substantive person is a soul who cares, is concerned, chooses to be aware and awake, and is fully committed to the betterment of the whole world. Substance is to be full of kindness and mercy, not selfishness and denial. Ask yourself who is the most substantive person you know? I will bet anything the individual you name is neither a celebrity, superrich, or someone only known for being known.
We will name ordinary folks who are outrageously good friends, neighbors, tirelessly serving those in need, or lifting up those who are downtrodden, and yes, offering someone a shot in the arm. This may sound like a string of superlatives, and it is, but it is also the language used to describe those who serve and sacrifice daily.
If our adolescents remain preoccupied with the numbers game, where do I rank, how much do I have, when will I be able to buy this or that, they will be stuck in a spiritual quicksand. The only way they can ultimately move, is down. Even at the top, they will know their hearts and souls are rotting on the ground. Today’s adolescent desperately needs to learn the power of being humane – sympathetic. Our culture becomes colder and more callused every day. It is time for all of us to say, “STOP THIS CRAZINESS!”
If someone were to say to you, “You are a person of great substance.”, you can be certain they are not referring to your wealth. They would be commenting upon your insight, sensitivity, empathy, having a huge heart, and a soul whose mercy is as wide as the sky. Our youth must be taught to strive to be worthy of a such a compliment.
I have recently grown to enjoy watching YouTube, as it is so easy to find videos which are uplifting, inspirational, and have ordinary people doing an being extraordinary. Yes, there are also thousands of videos about entertainers and the superrich, and the inane crap they are frequently doing with their lives, but at least I have a choice. I like being able to decide in favor of some good news, and not more drivel and bad news.
What I like best about the work of inspiration, is witnessing people choose to be a person of substance. This means service. This means sacrifice. This may mean some suffering. This means taking the road less traveled. This means risking public approval or popularity. This means following their heart.
*****
Significant vs. Success
There is nothing wrong with being successful, but there in nothing inherently right about it either. I have worked with some truly wealthy folks, including their children, and I can say categorically, success guarantees only one thing – you will be considered a “winner” in this culture. However, I can also state with assurance, many will have sold their soul, squandered their fortune, and wasted their talent and calling in the process.
Being able to afford the good life in America means nothing, if it is coupled with a complete lack of goodness, a refusal to be kind, compassionate, benevolent, or unwilling to sacrifice on behalf of others. The American good life is presently built on a capitalism which has become extreme, ruthless, viciously competitive, and even predatory. Our economy simply does not value the public as a whole, and our society thereby tends to undervalue the attributes of decency, dignity, meaning, and care.
The financial success worshipped in America does not make much of difference in the scheme of things. It is like living as an Egyptian Pharoah, and building a pyramid to be filled by the fabulous signs of your wealth. This hoarding of wealth, it was believed, was capable of keeping Death at bay. If we are brutally honest with ourselves, many of our homes have become “pyramids” – how can God take me when I have so much stuff?
We truly cannot take it with us, and our bank accounts have little to say about what difference we have made. I would contend, those who have made a fortune, seldom appear to be all that much healthier, happier, or more hopeful; quite the opposite, the view from the top isn’t all it is cracked up to be, if we have created a thick gritty smog on the way up.
I still very much believe in America and its people. I also believe we are in serious moral decline. I feel passionately about our need to address our own spiritual impoverishment.
I mean really, how can we be okay with millions of our people being without health care, or the staggering number of homeless and hungry, or the blatant racism of our justice system, or loading down our students with loan debt, or warehousing our elderly in places void of a quality care, primarily the result of not paying a livable wage to the caregivers?
How can we stomach seeing children ripped away from their migrant parents, then abandoned in semi-zoos, while we explain it away by saying, “Well, their parents broke the law.”? How can we watch the slaughter of our own innocent children, and still not be able to pass a ban on assault weapons – at the very least? Why are we witness to the rampant deterioration of all things pubic: our schools, transportation, health care, national parks, highway system, etc.?
I don’t mean to rant, and I do not see the above as strictly a political issue. This is about being humane, which means to be a people of deep and abiding sympathy. If we are to be a people of significance, we must develop the capacity to be global citizens, creative communities, good neighbors, and above all else, people who value kindness, decency, and tender mercies.
Life is tough enough, without raising youth with hardened cynical hearts. The last thing we need is to teach our young to know the price tag of everything, and the value of nothing.
We will all be known solely and always for the depth and quality and extravagance of our loving, especially in loving the tough to love, and even in loving our enemies. This is an age-old message, but one which our American culture is choosing to forget.
Well, we have come full circle. The snow falls. The soul catches. The spirit ignites. The creativity sparks. The change comes. The growth happens. We mature. All because we were smart enough to stop and listen to the snowfall. This is a practice vital to our teens today, or otherwise they are threatened to become robotic, childish, demanding consumers, and fail to make a substantial or significant contribution to our world and Life itself.
To live a life without paying attention to its beauty, marvels, and miracles, is not just a sadder life, a life of less meaning and worth, but a collection of days spent missing out on the ever- present possibility for love and joy. It can become, in the extreme, like being dead before we are dead. In a culture which addictively pursues deadening our anxiety and worry and fear, as well as our suffering and pain, we run the risk of missing out on most of what makes Life so wondrous and hope filled.
Listening to the snowfall is no small matter. It probably is not a life-or-death choice, but it certainly pertains to being fully awake, aware, and alive to the risks and dreams and hopes available to us all.
There are no guarantees or warranties in Life, but one thing is for sure - We must pay attention to the messages Life keeps sending us, and notice when it is calling us to open up, or settle down, or be present, or be transformed, or even born again, becoming a whole new being. We must listen up…lighten up…look up…and wake up, so we do not miss the day.