The temperature climbed to about 55 degrees, and the shock of mild was delicious. So many people were outside, attempting to look busy, but mainly just soaking in the baby blue sky and soft air. I decided it was great day for a walk.
I went down to the beach. It was slightly cooler there, but the water was so still it reflected each nook and cranny of the puppy clouds. I took off my shoes and socks, and decided I would go to the first jetty of rocks, take a little break, and then do the return trip at a quickened pace.
This is exactly what I did, except the break at the rocks lasted about two hours. I was suddenly swept by a lovely meringue of sadness, and settled into some curlicue memories whipped up on top. Sound delicious or sweet? Well, it wasn’t. It was simply one of those days I knew I could look back on my many mistakes, and genuinely ask to be forgiven.
We know when we've wronged others, or wasted our lives, or taken dead-end paths. We may try to stay so busy we need not bother with our flaws, but this was that kind of affectionate day which put its arm around me, and told me to let it all out.
I recalled the winced faces when my words had poked someone in the heart. I thought about my long held grudges, petty jealousies, or relationships destroyed by pride, indifference, or a whopper of a lie. A few nasty farts of deceit wafted on by, and I shuddered at the recollection of having betrayed someone I loved.
Asking God for forgiveness is easy. It is expecting any kind of response which is the tough part. My faith is thin and fragile when it comes to repentance. My mind taunts me with the notion I can do it myself, or to stop being so dramatic, or exaggerating my own importance. But on a day like this day, I felt like even I deserved mercy – just like the earth.
I walked back the whole way, and was only mildly short of breath – pretty good for my fat old frame. I got back to my car, and stood and took in the lake for a few more minutes. There was a family there, and they were all flying kites. The kites were performing like a chorus line, weaving in clever patterns, and never once tripping over the other. My heart leapt with joy!
O, Lord of Lent, thanks for being so stunningly soft and sweet at times. You make me feel like I deserved to be made whole again, and I am deeply grateful. I am shattered whole, and you alone can see the billions of cracks and crevices, even the signs of glue – the Grace of God. Amen.
Reverend William R. Grimbol has spent the past 30+ years helping people create and develop strong spiritual connections with loved ones and God. He is also a published author, with over a dozen books to his credit.